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Big-T & the Bada-Bings


Bunched Up Underthings

Dear Dottie,

Summer is the time for weddings and parades. How do you determine what to wear for either? It just seems like I’m always sitting on the curb of Main Street watching the high school bands and exposing my crinolin for all the young boys to see. And then, when I go to the weddings, I find myself in foofy dresses that aren’t appropriate when they play the Animal House soundtrack.

Oh, help me, Dottie. You’re my only hope.

Bunched up in underthings

Dearest Bunched-Up:

First of all, Dear Dottie is only familiar with the kind of Animal House where we boarder our babies when we go on vacation, Peter’s Blue Cross Clinic over on Crestview and 36th—oh, and they take pets too. At any rate, as far as your garment troubles, Dottie suggests new WunderWeave® All-Occasion crinolines. Dottie wears them ALL the TIME, and they can easily be inflated to suit the purpose at hand, be it a parade, a PTA meeting, or even an Intimate Moment (in separate beds, naturally!). I have included a shot of myself tending a Summer Frankfurter Fest in a Lime WunderWeave® (they match most garments, I find). They breathe oh-so-nicely, and the one I am wearing is only at Moderate Inflation!

Or, to play it really cool (and a little risqué!), try an ensemble consisting of a pantyliner and a pair of aspirin. THAT will getcha noticed!



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